


Coming To Terms

by thanku4urlove



Series: Canon-verse [2]
Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: (kind of? that tag makes me feel pretentious), Character Study, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, M/M, Mentions of Masturbation, Mentions of Yamada's Dad, Phone Calls, Pining, Romance, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, Suda Masaki is also here for a hot second, mentions of porn, those last tags are not related don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22748722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanku4urlove/pseuds/thanku4urlove
Summary: It's the end of 2014. Takaki Yuya is twenty-four, and seven years into his career as a member of the Johnny's group "Hey! Say! JUMP". He loves his job and his group mates too, but is unsure of his relationship with Inoo Kei. The things he knows about his feelings and the things he knows about himself aren't adding up, and all he wants is to make sure Inoo doesn't get hurt while he's trying to figure it all out.About phone calls, self-acceptance, and being in love.
Relationships: Inoo Kei/Takaki Yuya
Series: Canon-verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546990
Comments: 12
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of Coming Out, from Takaki's point of view. I originally envisioned the two fics as one long fic, just with a POV switch at the end, but the Inoo one wrapped up so nicely that I decided to separate them into a part 1 and a part 2.  
> I can be reached at @sudamasochist on twitter if you wanna talk!

Break was declared over, Takaki watching as Inoo turned away from the conversation he’d been having with Hikaru and came back to face the mirrored front wall of the practice room. He met eyes with Takaki in the mirror, seeming surprised for just a moment that Takaki was already looking at him. Takaki realized then that he’d been staring at Inoo, simply watching his shoulder shaking laughter and moving lips as he’d talked to Hikaru, and couldn’t help but flush in embarrassment at the knowing wink Inoo sent his way. Then the choreographer clapped his hands together, drawing everyone’s attention back to him, and they got dancing again.

Inoo was pretty. He just was, and that was a defense Takaki had been using for years, a defense that hadn’t been strong the first time he’d used it and certainly hadn’t gotten any more convincing over time.

Not that it wasn’t true. That was one of the first things Takaki had noticed about Inoo, when they’d been placed in the same group together as kids, with his full lips and warm brown eyes that got big when he was paying close attention to whatever authority figure was talking to them or giving them instructions. More than physically, it was something in the way Inoo carried himself; something Takaki would have called girly if he’d been trying to be mean. 

The thing was, over the years, Inoo continued getting prettier. They all went through their awkward teenage phases together, and sure, he was definitely prettier some times than he was others, but it was still disarming to glance over at Inoo and be surprised. They got closer, cultivating a relationship Takaki wouldn’t hesitate to call a friendship--though exclusive phone conversations and rare face-to-face communication wasn’t something Takaki would typically call a friendship, but it seemed to work for them--and Takaki began wanting to touch Inoo. 

He liked being physical with his friends, liked the casualness of it, in the way that the younger ones would jump on his back, or the older half of the group would sling an arm around his shoulders or playfully punch at him. But Takaki didn’t like to be the one to initiate the contact, especially if any clear precedent hadn’t been set. And with Inoo, a precedent had: not to touch him at all.

Takaki didn’t try to bring that up, or challenge it in any way, because from what he understood, Inoo was a bit susceptible to falling in love with him or something. That was flattering to think about, but Takaki didn’t want it happening; he knew he wasn’t gay like Inoo was, and didn’t want to cause his friend any pain. 

He knew he wasn’t gay. That was part of what made talking to Inoo so interesting. The secret of Inoo’s sexuality had been uncovered almost instantly between them, and Inoo didn’t seem to mind talking about it or seem to get offended, which opened Takaki up to asking questions. Questions he wouldn’t normally ask, or think to ask, or even know to ask if he hadn’t talked with Inoo about a couple of related subjects in other phone calls. However, Inoo being gay and Inoo actually kissing boys were two ideas that hadn’t reconciled themselves in his head at all until Inoo told him about a guy in one of his college classes that, in Takaki’s strong opinion, had a crush on Inoo. Then… Then he began thinking about it. 

He thought about it in a very broad sense at first, and with it came the want to touch Inoo again, but not quite in the same way. He wouldn’t let himself think about it at all at work, and he wouldn’t even let himself think about it at home until he was in bed and the lights were all turned off because he was straight. He knew that. He was just curious, he supposed. Because Inoo kissed guys, and he was a guy, so, technically, Inoo could kiss him. Technically. 

After a bit of asking some mortifying questions and plenty of embarrassment on Takaki’s part, Inoo did kiss him. Takaki had, of course, wondered what a kiss with Inoo would be like, and while he hadn’t been completely sure what to expect, none of it lined up with his expectations. Because it had been a good kiss. A really, really good kiss. 

It felt like an exaggeration, but when Takaki genuinely thought back on it, he realized it was true; he had thought about the kiss, at least once, every single day since it had happened. At first, it was all he’d been able to think about, but thinking about it without actually knowing how he felt about it was a jumbled mess, and he found himself unable to properly look Inoo in the eye for a good couple of days. 

They talked it out. Sort of. They promised not to do it again. A couple of months later, Takaki kissed Inoo anyway. It became a regular thing, sneaking around work and taking advantage of vacated practice rooms or empty hallways to just make out a little. Takaki wasn’t really worried about Inoo, and Inoo’s feelings; Inoo always seemed enthusiastically on board when it came to kissing and being kissed, and the crush he’d had on Takaki when they first debuted—though apparently it had lasted longer than Takaki originally thought—had to be gone by now. It was nearly 2015. It had been almost eight years. There was absolutely no way Inoo still liked him. He was just… Having fun with this. 

Takaki, on the other hand, wasn’t sure how he felt. Because he liked kissing Inoo. He really, really did. He’d come to terms with that. But did that have to make him gay? He didn’t want to kiss any other guy he knew. Yes, when he was out and about he would notice handsome guys, notice them the same way he noticed beautiful girls, but everyone did that, right? Pretty people were eye-catching. They just were. It didn’t have to mean anything. 

It was just kissing, anyway. It wasn’t as though they were doing anything else, no touching anywhere. Well, there was some touching. Arms around waists or necks, sure. Hands on necks, or cheeks, or in hair. Inoo would touch his chest sometimes, and Takaki would sometimes slip his fingertips under Inoo’s shirt—if he wasn’t wearing one of those overly large shirts that seemed to go down to his knees—to feel the warm skin there. But no going further; no doing more. 

Though honestly, Takaki wasn’t sure that he would mind going further or doing more. It was another one of those things he was stopping himself from thinking about, only really going there when he was in bed with his eyes closed and not trying hard to police where his brain was going. Because he didn’t think he was gay, but he knew there must be a line somewhere, and he wasn’t trying to cross it. He just didn’t know where it was. 

Inoo was moving slowly as he packed up his stuff once practice was over. Takaki began matching his pace, letting the other members of the group tease him about being slow, saying goodbyes as they left before him. It was just he and Inoo left, caught in that quiet moment before all pretense was dropped and they put their hands on each other. 

“I saw you looking.” Inoo’s voice, coy and playful as usual, Takaki turning to him. Inoo was walking towards him, a smile on his full lips, the sight of it making Takaki smile before he even knew he was doing it. Inoo extended his hands out to take Takaki’s own, tangling their fingers together. Inoo had nice hands, his fingers slender and long. Takaki had asked him once, what was something “gay” about him that his school bullies had picked on him for, and the way his hands looked had been the answer that Inoo gave. But Takaki liked Inoo’s hands.

“Sorry.” Takaki responded, fully aware that he didn’t look or sound sorry at all, and Inoo’s face relaxed into that laughter that had his head tilting back a bit. 

“No, you’re not.” Inoo told him, the coyness gone but the playfulness still in his tone, sounding just happy, just amused instead. He was leaning in. 

“No, I’m not.” Takaki acknowledged, and that had Inoo laughing again, just a little, the sound quiet as he smiled into the kiss he pressed against Takaki’s lips. Takaki liked it, the fun back and forth they often had before kissing; it broke the awkwardness, made things comfortable, but still led up to their lips touching. What had Inoo called it? An organic moment of romantic tension?

Kissing was something Takaki was relatively sure he was good at, but most of the other kisses he’d had were very different from kissing Inoo. Inoo wasn’t shy about it, wasn’t still and pliant, and Takaki couldn’t tell if the difference was a cultural thing, with girls just expected to be more restrained and reserved, or if it was just Inoo. Inoo kissed like Takaki was the only thing he cared about, like he was all Inoo wanted to touch and to taste. Inoo kissed like he was in love, and Takaki couldn’t have enough of it. 

Inoo had backed Takaki into the wall, finally letting go of their entwined hands, pulling back. He searched Takaki’s face, Takaki unsure of what he was so worried about but knowing he had nothing to be concerned over, lifting his head off the wall to assure him, to pull him in for another kiss. 

Then one of Inoo’s legs fell between both of Takaki’s own, pressing close, and  _ oh.  _ Takaki realized instantly that this was what Inoo was worried about. This. Whatever  _ this _ was. 

Was this going further? Was this the line? Takaki wasn’t sure, but didn’t think he wanted to ask, because if he was about to cross something then he knew he should stop, and he didn’t want to stop. It felt good; really good. He let his hands trail up Inoo’s sides, stopping on his chest to remind himself who he was kissing, who he was with, but if anything that did the opposite of make him want to pull away. Which wasn’t at all the reaction he expected. 

It must have been the distracting shock of the revelation, because Takaki didn’t hear a person coming down the hall. He must have heard the shout, but didn’t register the speaker, or the voice, or what that voice getting steadily closer must mean. 

“Yeah, I just have to get my—”

Then Keito burst through the door. The three of them stood there for a moment, Keito wide-eyed like a deer in the headlights. A heartbeat later the silence broke, Inoo leaping off of Takaki like he was on fire, Keito’s face surpassing pink and going straight to red. Takaki could feel his face burning too, but the embarrassment was absolutely nothing next to the fear that was constructing his chest so tightly that he felt he couldn’t breathe. 

“So, um… Uh…” Sometimes, when Keito was too surprised, it was almost like he forgot how to speak Japanese. It was usually funny. It wasn’t funny now. “Are you—?”

“No.” Inoo’s voice was fast, cutting him off. Keito’s brows furrowed, looking even more concerned, and Takaki realized in a bit of a panic that he didn’t know what Keito was about to say. Inoo seemed to come to the same conclusion, continuing quickly. “We’re not dating.”

“Oh.” That didn’t seem to do anything for Keito’s confusion, and with an urgency and panic he couldn’t control, Takaki found himself blurting,

“Don’t tell anyone.” 

Because he wasn’t gay. If the other members found out about him kissing Inoo, that’s what they would think. Because Inoo was out, had told the members that he was gay a little over a month ago, a display of bravery that Takaki was still impressed by. The JUMP members knew that they were friends, sort of, but that was it. They’d all thought that he and Inoo disliked each other--something they believed so strongly that they were able to use a fake fight as a distraction tactic for Yamada’s birthday surprise in the past--and had absolutely no idea how close they actually were.

Takaki wasn’t sure why he wanted to keep all of it a secret. Why no one could know about the phone calls. They just felt so private, so personal, like if anyone else found out about them then somehow, they would disappear. They’d never talked about it, but Inoo seemed to understand it anyway, and had kept the secret too. But this was worse. No one could know about this. Not when he himself wasn’t even sure how he felt about it; not when he’d very recently discovered that Inoo pressing him against a wall—chest to chest and thighs to thigh and mouth to open mouth—was something he very much liked and very much wanted to happen again. 

“I won’t.” Keito said, still appearing painfully speechless and taken aback, and without even grabbing whatever it was he’d come in for, left the room in a rush. A beat of silence. Inoo rubbed a hand over his face. 

“I think we can trust him not to tell anyone.” He said. And yes, Takaki agreed that Keito would keep his mouth closed, but now that Keito was gone from the immediate situation, that didn’t seem to matter as much. It wasn’t that one person knew and the rest of the group wouldn’t. It was that anyone knew at all. 

The fear in his chest hadn’t lightened up at all, instead just coiling tighter. Because Keito knew. But Takaki wasn’t gay. He wasn’t, was he? Was that what all of this meant, but he’d just been too stupid to realize it?

“...Takaki?”

Inoo was looking at him. He had concern on his face, mixed with an expression that Takaki couldn’t read. 

“What?”

“I was just asking if you were okay.”

Oh. The answer to that was “no”, but Takaki didn’t want to say that out loud. He needed to do something, something for the fear in his chest. 

“I don’t think we should do this anymore.”

“This?”

“Sneak around at work.”

“Oh.” Inoo’s expression was completely unreadable now. “Okay.”

“It’s just…” He’d what—thought they’d never get caught? 

“No, it’s alright.” Inoo walked back to his stuff. “I get it.” 

Takaki didn’t want to upset Inoo. But Inoo didn’t seem very upset as he finished gathering his things, even giving Takaki a lingering smile before he slipped out the door. Then Takaki was alone, looking down at the wood floor of the practice room. 

That was it. Those words were all that it took; all of it stopped. For the following week, he and Inoo didn’t do much more than greet each other in the morning and say goodbye when leaving. 

Then, in the week after, a little bit more; occasional bouts of small talk, words about their upcoming single—a crazy autotuned thing for Yamada’s next movie—or some inconsequential gossip. It was awkward. It was uncomfortable, and Takaki found himself shying away from Inoo just to avoid it happening. He’d never had this stumbling, getting-to-know-you relationship with Inoo. They’d gone from occasionally seeing each other, performing together but not doing much else, to having a tearful and slightly soul-bearing conversation at midnight. That event had been the baseline for their relationship. Talking about the weather or something had never been needed. 

Had he… Had he broken them up? Had there been anything there to break up? They’d never put a label on anything, and Takaki had never thought about it as a real relationship. His “I don’t think we should do this anymore” did sound like a classic breakup line, but Inoo had acted remarkably unbothered about the entire thing. Then again, as Takaki—and the rest of the group—had begun to learn, Inoo acted remarkably unbothered about a great deal of things, whether they actually bothered him or not. 

Takaki knew he should call Inoo, that calling him was the good and normal and probably mature thing to do, but he couldn’t get himself to do it. He didn’t want Inoo to think it was his fault, because Inoo hadn’t done anything wrong, but it also felt like a conversation he wasn’t ready to have. So calling was a problem. But not calling was also a problem. The last time he’d avoided Inoo, Inoo had accused him of “punishing” him by leaving him alone. And he didn’t want to do that. He never wanted to do anything like that. 

Their “phone call day”, the twenty-fourth of each month, was coming up in less than a week, so Takaki decided to wait it out. He could call Inoo then, he figured. Easier to have that basic reason, the comfort of pattern and precedent, than to call for nothing else but the overwhelmingly large question that was his relationship with Inoo. They’d probably get to the topic, sure, but have some casual small talk first. That would be good. 

On the twenty-fourth, about an hour after Takaki got home from work that day, his cell phone rang. It was Inoo, and feeling a little surprised, Takaki answered it. 

“Hey!” He said. “I was going to call you.” 

“You were?” Inoo sounded almost equally surprised. “Okay. Good.”

“Yeah.” Takaki found himself frowning. “Did you think I wasn’t?” 

Inoo gave a lofty sigh. “Well, the last time you were acting weird you didn’t call, and I didn’t want to give you the chance to be late again.” 

“That was only by six minutes!” Takaki exclaimed. He still remembered the moment, the sheer panic he’d felt when he realized he’d been in the shower for too long. It felt like an overreaction now, when he thought back on it, but maybe it wasn’t. It was just how much this mattered to him. 

“Sure, but it was still long enough for me to think that I wouldn’t ever be able to talk to you again.” 

The words were said in a joking tone, but Takaki knew Inoo well enough to know that they probably weren’t a joke at all. The tone made them easy to react to though, Takaki leaning back against his couch cushions with a huff. 

“So dramatic.” He chastised, and Inoo laughed a little. 

“You really were going to call?” He asked, and that wasn’t said like a joke, something about it almost hopeful, almost disbelieving. 

“Yeah.” Takaki found his voice going soft. “Of course I was.” 

“Okay.” Inoo said the confirmation, but it sounded more like he was saying it to himself. “Because lately, things have been…” 

“Yeah, I know. They’ve been a little weird.” 

“I mean, are you... “ Takaki could hear Inoo frowning. “Are you okay?” 

“I am, I just…” Takaki didn’t want Inoo to think anything was wrong with him. “I’m just--I’ve been thinking a lot, I guess.” 

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Shut up.” 

Inoo gave a snort of laughter at the immediacy of his response. 

“Well, what’s changed?”

Takaki wasn’t sure how he was supposed to answer that. Hadn’t everything changed?

“A lot, right?” 

“So… Did you like me better before I was out?” Inoo asked. “Did that make it feel less… I don’t know, gay? To be making out with a closeted person?” 

“What? No.” Takaki answered, feeling absolutely baffled. 

“Was the secrecy more fun?” 

“Fun isn’t the word I really think of.” 

“Oh, you weren’t having fun?” Inoo’s voice got a bit of a whine in it, an obviously teasing tone, but Takaki felt his cheeks warm up anyways. “You sure acted like it.” 

“I thought this was a serious conversation.” He grumbled, and Inoo actually laughed out loud. 

“It’s just Keito, Takaki.” He said. “I mean, I know you’re worried, but I really don’t think he’ll say anything.”

“That’s not what… It’s not that he could tell people that freaks me out.” Takaki said. “It’s… It’s the fact that he knows. That anybody knows. I’m not out like you are. I don’t even know--I don’t even know what I would ‘come out’ as, I don’t even think that I’m--” He stopped himself, unwilling to continue. “I’m so confused. I don’t know why it’s just you.”

Inoo was quiet for a long moment, so long that Takaki would have thought that he hung up, except for the ambient background noises he could hear across the line. Silences weren’t common when they spoke to each other on the phone, conversation usually able to flow easily. It felt like another change, another thing to add to the long list that was turning Takaki’s world on its head. 

“I want to tell you something.” Inoo finally said. “I didn’t--I didn’t come out for you, but I didn’t  _ not  _ come out for you, either.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I want to have a relationship someday. A real one. And when I do, I don’t want it to be a secret. I decided to come out to the members because when I have that, I don’t want to have to hide it. I’m not… It doesn’t have to be with you. But if we are going to continue to have some kind of relationship, I don’t want to have to hide it anymore.”

Upon hearing the ultimatum, Takaki wasn’t sure why he hadn’t been expecting it. If they weren’t going to sneak around, and they weren’t going to be out, then they weren’t going to be together at all. 

“You would want to be in a relationship with me?” He asked. Inoo gave a small chuckle into the receiver. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I would.” He was smiling a little as he spoke, the expression on his lips just barely there in his voice, and something about hearing it made Takaki’s chest ache a bit. “I like you so much that… It’s kind of hard to act like I don’t when other people are around.” 

“Oh.” It wasn’t much of a response. It wasn’t much of a response at all, but it was all Takaki could think to say. 

“I never, ever imagined a time when I would actually tell you that.” Inoo said, actually laughing a little. 

“I… It’s a lot to think about.” 

“I’m not expecting an answer from you.” Inoo told him. “I just wanted you to know.” 

That didn’t sit right with Takaki. It was a relief in the moment to not have to respond, but Takaki didn’t want to just leave the confession there, unanswered. 

“Could you… Could I have a little time?” 

“A lot to think about?” Inoo asked, his tone slightly teasing again as he echoed Takaki’s own words back to him. 

“Something like that, yeah.” 

“Yeah. Be careful, let me know if you pull a muscle or something.” In spite of it all, Takaki found himself laughing at the jab. “Good luck.” 

“Thanks.” Even though the well wish was more than a joke than anything--luck wasn’t useful when the problem was just to think things through--Takaki somehow felt like he needed it. “We should go. Goodnight, Inoo.” 

“Night.” A moment of suspended, almost anticipating silence. Then, simply, “Sleep well.” 

Inoo hung up. Takaki sighed, letting the hand holding his phone fall into his lap. A lot to think about. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halfway through already! The porn warning particularly applies to this chapter. Additional warnings in this chapter for mentions of Suda Masaki, mentions of Miura Haruma, and mentions of Yamada's dad.

Since they weren’t hanging out at work anymore, and they didn’t hang together at all outside of work, Takaki didn’t really see much of Inoo in the weeks that followed. They filmed two long and very involved music videos for their project  _ Koro Sensations _ _,_ then jumped immediately into rehearsals for Johnny’s Countdown. The coming of the new year was very distracting, 2014 drawing to a close, and roughly a week later Yuto became very sparse, beginning filming for a movie. 

The whole group knew about  _ Pink and Gray, _ but all of them underestimated how much of his time it would take up. And not just with filming it, and doing promotional spots and photoshoots; Yuto became close with the cast, declining invitations from the members because he already had plans with the other actors. 

It didn’t particularly offend Takaki, but it was surprising and unexpected, occasionally becoming an item of gossip in the group. Yabu had a theory that Yuto might have a crush on Kaho, the actress in the movie, but Takaki never heard Yuto talk about her. All of his stories were about the things he did with Suda Masaki, his co-star and fast new friend. Yamada occasionally went out with them, also friends with Suda Masaki, and he didn’t have any interesting details to report. Takaki didn’t think much of it until the night of the movie’s wrap party came, and the JUMP group chat got some text messages from Yuto at nearly three in the morning. 

The first one was very sweet, an extremely drunk Yuto trying to tell the group how much he loved them all, a plethora of misspellings in the nearly screen-length paragraph of text, with some confusing uses of emojis. The next one was a blurry photo of the three main actors of the movie, Yuto in the middle and holding his phone, with Suda Masaki on one side and the girl on the other, a stray arm over her head that must have belonged to someone else. 

The last text was another picture, sent almost an hour later, and taken by someone else. The quality of the photo wasn’t the best, but Takaki was still able to make out what was happening, recognizing Yuto easily and using the similarities in hairstyle and clothes from the previous picture to place the other person as Suda Masaki. Suda Masaki was in Yuto’s lap, and the two of them were tangled up in a very enthusiastic kiss. 

Takaki blinked down at the picture in the weak light of the morning, confused and surprised and unsure of how to react. When he got to work, he found the others feeling rather similarly, looking around at each other, all of them knowing they were thinking about the same thing but not quite knowing what to say. 

Yuto was late that morning, and his face was already red as he walked into the practice room, bending nearly in half in a bow as soon as he passed the threshold. 

“I’m sorry!” He said, head still directed at the floor. “I--I shouldn’t have sent those texts.”

Takaki found himself wondering if Yuto had sent them on purpose, or even remembered sending them at all. 

“It’s okay.” Hikaru said after an uneasy moment at the formality of the apology, Chinen tacking on,

“Yeah, it’s not like we’ve never seen your tongue before.”

That got a couple of laughs, Yuto straightening up. He still looked heavily embarrassed, putting a hand on the back of his neck.

“Are you guys dating?” Daiki asked, sounding intrigued, but Yuto shook his head. 

“I… I mean, I don’t really know. We didn’t talk about it much. And I mean, we were drunk, so…” He trailed off. “I’m not sure. I guess I’ll have to call him.” 

He shrugged, and Takaki almost couldn’t believe how incredibly nonchalant Yuto was being with all of this. There had never been anything from Yuto, any hints or notions that he might be interested in guys; he’d certainly never come out to any of them. And he was definitely embarrassed, still looking a little uncomfortable, but Takaki could tell that the discomfort wasn’t coming from the part in the equation that Suda Masaki was playing, just that the text messages had been drunken and a little inappropriate. 

“Yuto…” Keito’s voice was a little hesitant and uneasy. “Who took the photo?” 

“Kaho did. We were the only three left, and she was laughing at us.” Yuto seemed to catch onto the full implications of the question a moment later, turning more towards Yabu and Hikaru instead of Keito to answer and straightening up a bit as he spoke. “But she only took them on my phone, and there are only three. I checked with her this morning, just in case.” 

Takaki hadn’t noticed how tense Inoo had been holding himself until he relaxed, the movement from him completely stealing Takaki’s attention for a moment. Something about Yuto’s words had relieved him, and a moment later Inoo was storming towards Yuto, a playful lilt in his voice, but serious too.

“You got me so worried! As soon as I woke up this morning I was checking all of the tabloid sites like a crazy person!” He said, jabbing Yuto in the chest with his finger, Yuto rubbing at the poked area with a laugh. “You made me see a lot of weird stuff that I didn’t want to look at so early in the morning.” 

“I’m sorry!” Yuto exclaimed back at him, and the whole group was laughing now; the stress in Yuto’s posture had all faded, and he just looked like someone who had stayed up way too late partying--which, as they knew, was true. “No, it’s all okay. I’ll probably have to delete the pictures though, huh? If I don’t want anyone to find them.” 

“Or use a new phone, if you want to keep them.” Yamada said with a shrug. They all seemed to be moving on, moving past this incident, but Takaki was still flabbergasted by the complete breeze-over they’d done about Yuto’s—apparently different—sexuality. It didn’t bother him, so he didn’t want to make it a big deal, but he still wanted to know. Thankfully, Chinen piped up, and he wasn’t one to beat around the bush. 

“So, you like guys now?” He asked, and Yuto blinked at him for a moment before falling into a very thoughtful expression. 

“Huh.” He said, and a couple of them laughed. It was almost like he hadn’t thought to consider it. “I…”

He stood there a moment more, seemingly lost in thought, and when he spoke again his voice was softer and musing, as though he was thinking aloud. 

“I mean…  _ Girls.” _ He said, heavy emphasis on the word, tilting his head slightly to one side. “I definitely like girls. But also… I really liked that kiss. I like…” He kept trailing off, kept stopping and starting, obviously thinking through it. “I guess so, yeah. Yeah! I do.” 

It was all Takaki had to keep his mouth from falling open. That was so… So  _ casual. _ Did it not have to be a big deal? Did it not… Change everything? To see yourself in a different way? 

Yuto did go through the next couple of days obviously lost in thought about it, but the self-discovery wasn’t in any way a private process; the next day they were in the middle of learning a new set of choreography, going through it count by count, when Yuto completely stopped where he was standing, dropped his arms, and let out a loud curse. The whole room turned to stare at him, but he was staring at Yamada.

“Are… You alright?” Yamada asked, noticing the look. Yuto’s mouth was open, slightly slack with surprise.

“I had a crush on you!” He exclaimed, pointing. “When I was a kid!” 

Yamada’s mouth dropped open too. “Seriously?” 

“Is that why you two were so insufferable back then?” Chinen asked, his eyebrows raised. “Is that what romance does to people?” 

“It is.” Inoo said, his voice slightly lowered, and while Chinen laughed, Takaki felt something in his gut twist a little. “Consider yourself lucky, Chinen.” 

“Trust me, I do.” Chinen answered. The confession didn’t seem to make things awkward in the slightest, Yamada asking him questions about the past crush, Yuto answering them openly, both of them incredulous. Seeing all of it, and seeing the group be so unbothered by it all, did make Takaki relax a bit. He let himself think about Inoo more, and think about his feelings, instead of just letting his mind wander there when he was about to drift off to sleep. Because it wasn’t as though he didn’t want to have these feelings; he just wanted the feelings to be okay. To feel okay. To not scare him so much. 

However, as was bound to happen, he had an epiphany at nearly midnight when he was waking up early the next morning, and really should be sleeping instead. He shot straight up as though waking from a dream, the haze of sleep gone from his brain. Straight people probably didn’t have to work this hard--as hard as he was working--to convince themselves that they were straight. 

It felt a bit like an earth-shattering revelation, and felt a bit like simply realizing he was a giant idiot, but then again, that was what most epiphanies were. 

On his next day off, Takaki decided he was going to dig a little deeper. He wasn’t expecting any visitors but he triple-checked his front door anyway to make sure it was locked, drawing the blinds, feeling incredibly awkward as he sat down on his couch and opened up his laptop. 

So, he wasn’t straight. And he liked Inoo. And he liked doing… Physical things with Inoo. And Inoo was a guy, so… He liked doing physical things with guys. And, following all of that logic--logic that, to him, felt extremely sound all the way around--he should like seeing guys do physical things to each other. Right? 

Wanting, finding, and watching porn was not a new concept to Takaki. He did it less often now than he had when he was younger, when he’d just gotten an apartment all to himself and didn’t have someone that he was making out with on a regular basis, but still. He had what he liked to watch, and websites that he liked to go to.

This search was going to be entirely new territory. Were there… Keywords he needed to use? Keywords he needed to avoid? Takaki’s first instinct when feeling this clueless about any problem had always been to ask for help, but he didn’t want to call anyone about this. Not even Inoo. Even though Inoo could probably give him some actual advice. 

Inoo probably did this, Takaki realized, probably watched the porn that Takaki was searching for and… Well, did what people did when they watched porn. That mental image wasn’t one he’d anticipated, was not the way he’d expected his brain to go, so he shook off the thought as best he could. It did, though, give him the motivation he needed to begin typing in the search bar. 

It was a lot easier than Takaki expected to find gay porn. It caught him off guard, how quickly he was expected to actually choose a video to watch, and for a moment he didn’t know what to do. Finally, he just clicked on one. 

Well, not quite. There’d been a little bit of thought put into it; none of the men in the thumbnail had been particularly buff and muscular, and the title had seemed rather tame. He frowned at the terrible acting and vague, slightly nonsensical dialogue, but an extremely weak attempt at plot wasn’t at all exclusive to gay porn—it was all stuff he’d seen before—and the men began kissing. Things escalated rather quickly after that. 

Maybe it was just that he felt awkward, or wasn’t particularly in the mood, but—while very unable to look away—Takaki didn’t manage to get very turned on, either. Some parts of it had been good, sure, but that had been outweighed by how... Awkward it had seemed, and how foreign it was, some of the close-up shots looking so uncomfortable that he’d leaned away from the screen. One of the guys had been very whiny, the other not doing much more than muttering the same couple of phrases over and over again, and Takaki realized that if he was criticizing the “chemistry” between two porn actors, he felt it safe to say that he hadn’t been into it. 

He didn’t think he could sit through another video, closing the tab. So. He hadn’t liked it. That didn’t bode well. 

He tried to think over the parts, the parts that he’d found himself more into, but the whole thing was making him feel weird, and he quickly went instead to the list of feel-good movies—a different kind of feel-good movie—that he kept on his laptop. 

If there was anything he liked but wouldn’t admit to, it was girly romance chick flicks. They just made him feel nice, and they were cute, and the couple was always happy at the end. The next one on his list was  _ Kimi ni Todoke,  _ one he’d been excited about, interested in seeing Miura Haruma in a movie. 

He was about halfway through the movie, the porn incident in the back of his mind, when Takaki realized that the actual plot of the movie was in the back of his mind too. He wasn’t paying anything any attention, all of him completely focused on just watching Miura Haruma instead. 

Looking at him brought Takaki back to his Gokusen days. It had been almost overwhelming, having to act opposite of someone so talented, someone who already had ten years of experience in television shows and movies, despite being a month younger than Takaki himself. But Haruma had been very nice, and fun to be around, Takaki always happy to see him, excited to work with him, even on long days and during night shoots. It had been captivating, when they filmed the fight scenes and Haruma would get in his face, grabbing at his shirt collar and pulling him close. The first couple of times they’d done scenes like that, the director had called for a cut, just to remind Takaki that he was supposed to look tough and mean and like he hated Haruma's character's guts. 

Takaki had passed the fluttery feelings off completely as nerves, and while doubtlessly, some of them were, he was having the realization that some of them probably weren’t, too. It might not have been a strong crush, or even a very personal one, but it had been there.

The movie went on, now nearly completely forgotten, as Takaki began making a mental list of all of the men in his life that he’d found particularly attractive, past the standard “nice to look at.'' Men that, if the opportunity presented itself, he probably wouldn’t mind getting physical with. Some of the people on that list weren’t surprising, and some of them were—and one of them was Yamada’s dad, something Takaki would definitely have to re-examine some other time—but the length of the list was what was most unexpected. He’d been so caught up on Inoo, he’d convinced himself that Inoo was the only one. 

Apparently, that wasn’t the case. Apparently, he actually liked guys. And, after he managed to turn his attention back to the movie, if he swooned whenever Haruma said something cute to the love interest girl, then that was his business. 

  
  


The release date for JUMP’s fourth album was coming at them fast, the group having to work long days to get ready for it in time. They fell into a familiar pattern of collectively getting tired but powering through, taking turns encouraging each other and bringing the mood back up. The most fun part of the entire process was filming the music video for the album’s promotional song  _ Kira Kira Hikare,  _ spending the day goofing off and playing games. Inoo, however, seemed very tired, maybe not physically but definitely mentally, Takaki pulling him aside while the rest of the group was distracted, a hand on his arm. 

“You alright?” He couldn’t help but ask, feeling too worried to leave the issue alone. Inoo raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

“What?”

“What do you mean, what? Am I not allowed to care about you?” Takaki asked back, feeling a little indignant about how bewildering Inoo found his concern. He gave Inoo’s bicep a squeeze. “Because I do.” 

Inoo’s face broke out into a smile at that, and his whole body relaxed, his eyes closing, his shoulders slumping, bowing his head to rest it against Takaki’s shoulder. Takaki couldn’t help himself, reaching up to tuck a bit of Inoo’s hair behind his ear, but at his touch Inoo drew back. 

“I just didn’t realize you’d noticed, that’s all.” He said. “I’m fine.” Takaki was glad to see that it was true, that both Inoo’s tone and his expression—the smile from the moment before had faded slightly, but it was still there—were genuine. “Just didn’t sleep well last night.” 

“Okay.” Takaki said, not wanting to press the issue, and Inoo looked at him for a moment. Takaki wondered briefly if Inoo was thinking about kissing him, because that was all Takaki wanted him to do, but Inoo didn’t lean even a centimeter closer. His expression brightened a bit instead, touching his fingertips to the hand Takaki had on his bicep. So Takaki let him go, Inoo leaving to go over to Daiki instead; Daiki and Yuto had somehow managed to drag at least half of the group into whatever stupidity they had going on. It was doubtlessly hilarious, Takaki considering joining them when he noticed Keito out of the corner of his eye. Keito was simply standing there, but he had obviously caught the interaction between Takaki and Inoo, a small smile on his face that was so telling that Takaki felt embarrassed. Because Keito knew. 

Keito knew, and Keito seemed happy; happy for them, happy about them. Would the group be happy if they all found out? Would it be okay, the two of them allowed to openly date and be together around the rest of the members? They probably still wouldn’t have been able to kiss just now, with cameras following them through the making process of the music video, but they would be okay to do so during practice days, to hold hands and hug and lean into each other when the group was all together. The thought of it was appealing, Takaki able to see why Inoo no longer wanted to hide. 

The thought of coming out to them all, however, was incredibly daunting. It was still scary, causing a strange panic to rise high in his chest when he considered it, despite now knowing that the members wouldn’t care. He knew they would be kind and even encouraging, but still. He just didn’t feel ready. 

Besides, what if he and Inoo dated, and then broke up and everything was awful? Would they be pressured into being perfect and making it work, because they were in the same group? Or would the members be against the relationship for the same reason? It was all a confusing twist of what-ifs, and in the past Takaki had proven good about not letting hypotheticals bother him, but for some reason this was a fear he couldn’t shake. He tried to stay away from Inoo, to keep himself from doing anything that would make Keito eye them again, and ended up attracting the attention of someone else. 

Maybe he’d overdone it, by point-blank refusing to join Inoo in the recording room for their unit song Pet Shop Love Motion like Yuto was doing with Chinen. He liked the song, he liked the song a lot actually, with its cute theme and cute lyrics, but when he refused the invitation and requested his own recording room to sing in, Yuto’s eyes went very narrow, a glint to them that Takaki immediately knew meant nothing good. He was waiting for some confrontation about it and it came sooner than he expected, Yuto stopping him from leaving the recording studio that day by grabbing Takaki’s bag before Takaki could get to it himself.

Takaki knew full well that he wouldn’t be able to win a game of keep-away against Yuto--the kid was too tall--so he didn’t even try.

“What?” 

“Are you in a bad mood?”

The question caught Takaki off guard. “...no?” He said, confused now. 

“Then what’s up with you?” 

“I really don’t know what you mean.” 

Yuto frowned at him.

“Is this about the recording thing today?” Takaki asked. “It’s really not a big deal, okay? I just wanted to record by myself.”

“I mean maybe, but you’ve been mean to Inoo lately.”

“I’m not mean to Inoo.” 

“You’re being weird around him.”

“I’m not being weird.” This was going nowhere, and Takaki wanted to go home. He made a grab for his bag but Yuto jumped back a step and held it up over his head, so Takaki dropped his arm and sighed. He fell back on his old excuse. “Inoo and I just have never been that close, okay? It’s really not a big deal.” 

If Takaki hadn’t liked the glint in Yuto’s eye before, he certainly didn’t like the look he had on his face now. But Yuto gave him his bag back and let him leave, so Takaki tried not to read too much into it. 

Recording for the  _ JUMPing CAR _ album was finished by the end of the week. They were all there for the last day of recording, talking over the final takes, the option open to record again anything that they weren’t happy with. As the meeting was coming to a close, Yuto, who had been talking quietly with Inoo the entire time, got up and left the room, Inoo following after him. When the meeting was over and Takaki had gotten to his feet, Keito approached him, frowning. 

“Did you see where Yuto went?” 

Takaki should have seen it coming, he thought; he knew what Keito looked like when he was acting and when he was genuinely concerned, but he himself was so preoccupied with where Inoo had gotten to that he was distracted enough to agree to help Keito find him; Yuto and Inoo had left together, so they were probably in the same place, right? 

Takaki knew the recording studio pretty well at this point, checking doors on one side of the hallway as Keito looked down the other. There was a small closet up ahead, the door slightly ajar, Takaki approaching it with a sigh already in his chest. 

“Yuto!” Keito called out, Takaki not realizing until it was too late that the name had been an exclamation, not a question. He rounded the corner of the closet door, then felt two hands on his back, shoving him inside. The door slammed behind him. 

“What the--?!” The curses on his lips didn’t have time to come out as Takaki fell onto someone, both himself and the other person crashing into the back wall. 

“I--what--Takaki?” 

The voice was recognizable immediately, even in the dark and small space, but even so, a light clicked on a second later, dim and yellow. 

“Inoo? What are you doing in here?” 

“I could ask you the same question.” Inoo said, looking equally surprised. 

“I’m here because someone pushed me! You were already in here!” 

“I decided I wanted to come out of the closet again.” 

Despite his confusion, Takaki couldn’t help but laugh at that, Inoo angling his face down and laughing as well. 

“But really, Yuto asked me if I wanted to help him prank Keito. I was just going to jump out of the closet and scare him. It was stupid, but it seemed like it would be funny.” Inoo shrugged. “Besides, Yuto said he would film it, so it could go on the Making DVD.” He leaned against the back wall, fixing Takaki with a look. “Why are you here?” 

“Keito asked me to help him look for Yuto. I came to look in the closet, and somebody pushed me.”

“Wait.” A contemplative frown was growing on Inoo’s face. “If Yuto set me up, and Keito set you up, then…”

Takaki realized what Inoo was saying, both of them coming to the same conclusion at the same moment, rushing the door. The handle turned, but the wood wouldn’t budge. 

“Let us out!” Takaki yelled, pounding on the door.

“No!” Yuto yelled back. His voice was muffled, but so close that Takaki guessed he was probably holding the door closed. If it had just been him, Takaki would’ve tried overpowering him and pushing the door open, especially with Inoo’s help, but they were out of luck with Keito’s muscles added to the equation. 

“What the hell is this?” Takaki asked. 

“You guys have been fighting!” Yuto declared. “And you need to talk it out. This is what Chinen did with me and Ryosuke, and we’re best friends now. So I’m sure it’ll work.” 

“Why does he think we’ve been fighting?” Inoo asked. Takaki was about to tell him about the conversation he and Yuto had had earlier in the week, interrupted by his phone buzzing. He had a text message from Keito, Inoo looking over his shoulder to read it as well. 

_ Yuto asked me what was wrong after I accidentally walked in on the two of you, and I didn’t know what to say, so I said I’d seen you fighting with each other. I’m sorry!  _

“Well.” Inoo’s voice had a dry tone to it. “Usually when a kid walks in on two adults ‘fighting’, they’ve gotten a little further along than we had.”

If Takaki had been drinking water in that moment, he would have spit it out. 

“Let us out!” Takaki demanded again. 

“I will!” Yuto’s voice sounded farther away now. “Don’t worry, I’ll come back for you guys.”

This door didn’t have a lock on it; if Yuto was walking away, they should be able to get out. Turning the knob, Takaki pushed on the door again. Again, it didn’t budge. 

“What—?” He started, but Inoo pointed to the floor. Shoved in the crack between the bottom of the door and the floor were four wedge-shaped door stops, keeping the door closed. Takaki tried to kick at one, but it was too thin, his foot slipping. He kicked the door instead, a spike of pain shooting through his foot. 

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Inoo said, leaning back against the far wall again and watching Takaki wince and grab at his foot. He seemed completely resigned to being locked in the closet, so Takaki tried to relax too, at least a little. “I guess we’re stuck, for a while.”

Takaki nodded back, and silence permeated the tiny space, Inoo resting against the wall, his posture casual, Takaki standing there, holding his foot. Which felt stupid, so he put his foot back down. They were stuck there, and it wasn’t like Takaki didn’t want to talk to Inoo. He just had to think of something to say. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! Sorry for the delay; I got super sick last week and spent the last weekend dying in bed. I hope you all enjoy this chapter ♡

“So, I watched some gay porn.”

Takaki felt his face begin to burn as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Inoo stared him full in the face for a solid five seconds, as though to check if he was serious. Then he burst into laughter, his body going limp with it, and Takaki didn’t know what to do, standing there and watching Inoo laugh. 

“Congratulations.” Inoo finally said, once he’d pulled himself together. That wasn’t the response Takaki had been expecting, and it helped a little, relaxing his shoulders and letting him laugh back. 

“I… Thanks?” He offered, and Inoo laughed again. “I…” 

Inoo drew his eyebrows together a bit. “What?” He asked, and Takaki shrugged.

“I don’t know, it was… Weird.” He finally said. “I don’t really know that I liked it that much.” 

“You weren’t into it.”

“No, not really.” Takaki shrugged. “I mean, maybe I just--and I’m sure it’s different, when you’re actually doing it, so I’m not saying that I’m not--” 

“Takaki.” Inoo cut him off--which was probably good, since Takaki had no idea what it was he was trying to say, really--a shrewd smile on his lips now. “Are you trying to proposition me in this closet right now?” 

“No!” Takaki exclaimed, and Inoo burst out laughing again. “You’re horrible. Shut up.” 

Inoo did his best to straighten up, still giggling, giving Takaki a wink. 

“That’s good, because I probably wouldn’t say no.” 

“You--you wouldn’t?” That was surprising, Takaki had to admit. Inoo didn’t seem to think so, raising his eyebrows. 

“I’ve liked you for eight years and you don’t think I’d be willing to take your pants off in a closet?”

“I, that’s--” Takaki was blushing so hard it almost hurt. Inoo still looked amused. “We’re at work!” 

“That never stopped us before.”

“Yeah, but we never…”  _ We never took our pants off before  _ wasn’t something Takaki felt he could survive saying out loud, especially in his already-embarrassed state. “Yuto could walk in at any second.” 

“Yeah.” Inoo conceded. “That’s what you’re most worried about, isn’t it?” 

Inoo’s tone had changed, getting a little more serious, and Takaki knew they weren’t just talking about right now. They were talking about their whole relationship. 

“It is.” Takaki looked down at his feet, not realizing until he tried to slip his hands in them that the pair of pants he was wearing didn’t have pockets. “I mean--I know I’m… I’m not straight.” 

He hadn’t said that out loud before, and while he did feel a little like he was going to throw up, something about it was liberating, too. It wasn’t just inside him anymore. It wasn’t a secret anymore. Inoo tilted his head, still looking at Takaki.

“Really?” He asked, and Takaki nodded, and the smile, small this time, came back on Inoo’s face. “Okay. But you still don’t want to tell anybody?” 

“I’m just afraid, I guess. And not of telling the members about… Well, me, because I know they’d be fine, but about us. And then actually dating--wouldn’t we still have to sneak around?” 

“I mean, kind of.” Inoo said thoughtfully. “In front of cameras, or in public and stuff, sure. But it wouldn’t be like we couldn’t do anything. We could still go out together, as long as we didn’t, you know, make out outside or something. We could have some subtle couple jewelry. You could take me to the beach.” 

Takaki had to smile at the thought of that. Inoo didn’t really like the beach, but Takaki would love to take him anyway. Inoo’s sun-warmed skin, sitting on a towel in the sand and probably making a pouty face at him, his sunglasses pushed up into his hair with a white stripe of sunscreen down his nose. It felt like an impossible fantasy, but in truth, it was something Takaki could have; something that was within his reach, if he just asked for it. They’d never really talked about their relationship face to face, like it was something that was real, and it made it actually _feel_ __ real too, for the first time. 

“I mean, we couldn’t send each other any sexy text messages.” Inoo was continuing. “Wouldn’t want those getting out. It’s got to all be phone calls if we want to do anything like that.” 

It was mostly a joke, Inoo grinning and Takaki laughing. 

“It’s not that I would want the whole world to know.” Inoo said, though that was something Takaki already knew. “I just can’t hide things from the members anymore. I already hid who I was for years; I don’t want to hide anything else.”

Takaki nodded a bit. He couldn’t fault Inoo for that. 

“But what if we break up?” He had to ask. “And… And what if it’s awful? What if you hate me?” 

Inoo was quiet for a long moment, his eyes searching Takaki’s face, his voice uncharacteristically serious when he answered. 

“Takaki, I don’t think that there’s anything in the world you could do to make me hate you.” 

“Haven’t you heard about how stupid I am?” The tone was too serious, Takaki trying to lighten it, unable not to smile when Inoo laughed. 

“Don’t worry, I have. But sometimes cute and stupid are enough.” He said, Takaki laughing too. 

“Don’t forget my sexy bod.”

“I could never forget your sexy, sexy bod.” Inoo answered, his voice a little more serious than their joking tones in the sentences beforehand. “There’s a pair of sweatpants you wear to dance practice sometimes that are seriously bad for my health.” 

“Yeah?” Takaki raised his eyebrows. “You’ll have to tell me which ones.” 

“Would telling you make you wear them more, or wear them less?” Inoo asked back. 

“You’ll have to tell me and find out.” 

Inoo laughed, extending his arm as though to punch Takaki in the chest. Takaki reached out halfway through the motion, catching his hand, Inoo’s face completely softening into a smile at the contact. 

“It’s not like you don’t watch me during dance practice too.” Inoo said, teasing now. “I know, because I always catch you.” 

That was true. There was something about it, something about seeing Inoo the way he was naturally--unstyled hair, bare face, and casual clothes--watching him move his body, that drew Takaki’s eyes. Dance practice days were the days that had always ended with them kissing; something about watching Inoo dance made it hard for Takaki not to touch him. 

“Well, maybe I can’t help it.” Takaki answered. Inoo’s hand was still in his, Takaki unable not to wonder what would happen if he pulled Inoo closer. He’d missed Inoo, missed kissing him, missed feeling Inoo’s skin under his fingertips. 

“Maybe that’s what you should do, then.” Inoo said. “Instead of watching videos of other guys.” There was a flirty grin on his face now, an expression that Takaki wanted to kiss off his lips. “You always watch me on dance practice days; there must be some reason for that. So maybe you could just think about me instead. I definitely wouldn’t mind.” 

That… That was too much, Inoo telling Takaki—giving Takaki permission—to fantasize about him, and he couldn’t help himself, pulling Inoo close, and Inoo leaned in, leaned up, their lips meeting. The kiss was searing and needy, feeling like a breath of fresh air, like he’d been drowning for months and didn’t know it. 

Thankfully, he didn’t seem like the only one. Inoo gasped against his lips, his hand tightening around Takaki’s own, his other hand reaching forwards and gripping onto Takaki’s shirt. Takaki reached up, the kiss deepening, about to slide his fingers into Inoo’s hair when there was a loud bang on the closet door. They jumped apart, the sound sudden and terrifying, Yuto’s loud voice coming through the door. 

“I’m back!” He exclaimed, pounding on the door again. “You guys alive in there?” 

If the door had been open, Takaki felt he just might have strangled Yuto. 

“Barely.” Inoo answered back after a moment, wiping at his mouth with his fingertips and sounding out of breath. They both just stood there, watching Yuto remove the door stops--and having a little trouble, since Takaki kicking the door had lodged the door stops in a bit deeper than they’d meant to be--and swinging the door open. 

“Well?” He asked. It was just him, and he was beaming proudly at them, sticking his hands on his hips. “Did it work? Are you best friends now?” 

Takaki still kind of wanted to kill Yuto for interrupting them, so he didn’t want to give him any satisfaction in answering. Inoo began to grin, slinging an arm around Takaki’s shoulders. 

“Oh, we’re  _ more _ than friends now.” He said, the insinuation in his voice making Yuto laugh, and they left the recording studio together. 

  
  


Inoo’s “just think about me instead” comment worked. Takaki couldn’t help but feel that even if Inoo hadn’t mentioned it, that’s where his mind would have gone anyway after their desperate kiss in the closet that had been so rudely interrupted. Now that he had a framework, a visual for how things normally happened, it was almost too easy for his brain to continue the scenario, and so good that his shower water began to run cold before he’d finished. 

Unfortunately, it worked a little too well. At first, he couldn’t watch Inoo do simple things—like tilt his head back to drink water, or brush his sweaty bangs from his eyes, or pull up the bottom of his shirt to wipe at his face—without getting at least a little worked up. He almost couldn’t believe he’d gone so long without realizing that Inoo was sexy, sexy in a carefree, sultry kind of way. It was almost an illusion, because it broke as soon as Inoo smiled and he was pretty and happy and cute again, sending a spark of affection into Takaki’s chest instead. 

He couldn’t stay away from Inoo anymore. He just couldn’t. At first he stressed about it, because staying away from Inoo was the status quo. It was what he’d always done in person, interacting with him when they were next to each other but otherwise keeping his distance. But then, he realized, in another truly stupid moment, that he didn’t have to. He didn’t have any reason not to act like Inoo’s friend. So he got over himself and just did. 

It helped that they were starting their  _ JUMPing Carnival _ tour. Touring always made Takaki’s walls come down—touring made everyone’s walls come down—and he was more open to talking, to laughing, to teasing and being teased. He began calling Inoo regularly again, and once he called Inoo, Inoo began calling him, too. They texted often. The rest of the group were delighted, Yuto crowing in pleasure whenever they mentioned going for a meal together, or walking around town on a day off.

“It worked!” He exclaimed. He had told the rest of the group what he’d done, and none of the others had seemed to have any sympathy for Takaki and Inoo’s situation, much to Takaki’s chagrin. “My idea worked!”

“It was originally my idea.” Chinen deadpanned, but that didn’t dampen Yuto’s spirits in the slightest. 

“I’m relieved.” Inoo confessed later, about a month into the  _ JUMPing Carnival _ tour dates. They were on the phone, each standing outside on a balcony on the same floor. They were too far away to actually hear each other in person but Takaki could see Inoo, leaning against the balcony and looking back at him. His head was tilted so that he had the phone pressed into his shoulder but was still holding it with one hand, as though it was something precious. Whenever Inoo laughed particularly loudly, Takaki could hear the laughter over the line and in real life, too. 

“About what?” Takaki asked, looking out into the street. Though the sun had set hours ago, wasn’t so late yet that the trains had stopped running, and the city was still alive with light. 

“Our relationship. You had pulled away so much; I was nervous.” Inoo said. “I thought that I’d ruined it. I’m glad we’re friends again.” 

“Sorry.” Takaki felt he had to say, because if anyone had been sabotaging their relationship, it had to have been him. Inoo hadn’t done a single thing wrong. But, Takaki felt, at least he was the one trying to fix it, too. 

“I mean, I don’t blame you for anything.” Inoo told him. “It’s not like I ever only wanted friendship from you anyway. I was part of… All of this mess too.” 

As fun as it was, the  _ JUMPing Carnival  _ tour eventually came to a close, a new release that was some silly, upbeat song for a shampoo commercial was right on its heels. The filming of the music video was fun—though, truly, Takaki had always found music video filming to be fun—sitting between Inoo and Yabu for a majority of it and letting himself sneak glances in Inoo’s direction. And honestly, “sneak” was a very loose term, with Inoo catching his eyes almost every single time, but whenever he did he would smile, so Takaki didn’t feel bad for looking. 

The song,  _ Kimi Attraction,  _ was released the last week of October, promotions for it carrying them into November of 2015. Their eighth CD debut anniversary was on the fourteenth of the month, and in celebration Johnny bought them a very expensive meal that was brought to the work building. They commandeered one of the break rooms, setting up a huge table and crowding their chairs around it, talking and laughing and eating. 

Inoo snagged a seat next to Takaki before they’d started eating, and Takaki absently touched his knee to Inoo’s on and off throughout the meal. He didn’t really have a reason for doing it, simply shrugging when Inoo glanced at him questioningly, but the small smile playing on Inoo’s lips at the contact was reason enough not to stop. 

It was the comfort of good food and even better company, a contentment and happiness settling bone-deep in Takaki as the meal progressed. He loved these people, he loved his group, so happy with the eight of them in his life that it almost hurt if he thought about it too hard. They stayed for hours, and even then didn’t finish all of the food, packing it up in little individual boxes for each of them to take home. They left gradually, naturally, and by coincidence Takaki found himself sitting alone, Inoo next to him. He touched his knee to Inoo’s again.

“What is that?” Inoo asked him, gesturing to their touching knees. Inoo was dressed in simple clothes, a little bundled up for the cold weather, his hair flopped straight down, his face bare, his eyes bright. Takaki couldn’t stop smiling at him. “What are you doing?” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Takaki answered innocently, tapping out a beat on the table with his pointer fingers as he pulled his knee away, finishing the rhythm with his knee bumping Inoo’s again. 

Inoo laughed a little, getting to his feet, and even when he wasn’t laughing anymore he was smiling so much that it looked like it was taking effort to keep his lips closed. He just stood there, looking down at Takaki for a moment. His expression was almost too much; simple, unabashed, open adoration that had Takaki’s heart aching in the best way. 

“What?” Takaki had to ask. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Inoo gave his head a small shake, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Takaki’s lips. It was short, close-mouthed and sweet, Inoo turning away once he’d pulled back to gather his things. 

“I… What was that for?” Takaki asked, Inoo shrugging. 

“Nothing. I just like you.” Inoo answered, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He glanced back on his way out the door, and Takaki loved everything about Inoo in that moment; his floppy, dyed-brown hair, the slight slouch in his posture, his full lips, the way his eyelids fell over his eyes, and his long eyelashes. Takaki wanted all of it, wanted to hold him and kiss him all over until he laughed and kissed Takaki back. He sat there long after Inoo had gone, watching the space he’d been, the realization of his feelings, the depth of them, coming--not fast and frightening--but soft and settling instead. 

He loved Inoo. He did. Now he just had to do something about it. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! I really loved writing this fic, it had me falling in love with these two all over again ♡ Huge thank you to those who read it, I hope you all enjoy the last chapter!

With  _ Koro Sensation _ being for the first Assassination Classroom movie, the group had known that they would probably be doing another Sensations song for the second movie too. And they were, the news coming fast at them. Due to the arrangements needed for the music video filming, a great deal of things had to be prepared in advance, and they all began learning the choreography as quickly as they could. 

The choreography for  _ Koro Sensation _ had been incredibly intricate-feeling and difficult, but they’d all improved since then, and picked up on the dance for  _ Sayonara Sensation _ much quicker than they’d anticipated. As a result, their schedule relaxed, dance practices casual and fun instead as they got the dance cleaned up and performance-level ready.

Takaki liked the choreography, finding it cute and different with all of the wriggling and peace signs and quick formation changes. He was in a good mood, but the whole group was in a good mood, goofing off and laughing with each other. Yuto and Chinen were exclusively wriggling everywhere instead of walking, going up to various members from the side and poking them in the cheeks with their first two fingers. Daiki was in that mood where he giggled at everything, easily encouraging gags and running jokes with his laughter until the whole group was a part of them, laughing too hard to continue. 

They’d called a break, all nine of them lounging around the room. Takaki was lingering by his stuff, half getting a drink from his water bottle and half watching Inoo, who was talking about something in the choreography with Daiki. He was laughing, his eyes light with amusement and his mouth open, his nose slightly scrunched up in that way it did when he was particularly pleased. He had both of his hands curled into peace signs, bending his fingers in and out in time with each other, laughing too hard to say whatever it was he was trying to say to get the joke out. He looked cute, so cute that Takaki was struck with how smitten he felt, wanting nothing more than to kiss Inoo. 

With a jolt, he realized that he could. He could walk over and kiss Inoo now, as long as he was actually ready; ready to commit, ready to be in a relationship with him, ready for the rest of their group to see how he felt. The idea of it didn’t scare him as much as it used to. It didn’t scare him much at all, his decision made at once, and he put his water down, walking in Inoo’s direction. 

“Hey,” was all he managed to say, but it was enough to get Inoo’s attention, Inoo turning to him with interest. Takaki stepped close, first reaching towards Inoo’s side--the sweater Inoo was wearing was so big that all Takaki got was a handful of fabric, so he slid his hand around to the small of Inoo’s back instead, pulling him in. Inoo looked up to his face, his eyes wide and astounded, and Takaki put his other hand on Inoo’s cheek, bending his own head down to kiss him. 

Their lips met, one of Inoo’s hands up by his chest, hovering; the other was gripping the sleeve of Takaki’s shirt, on his arm and just below his wrist. He kissed Takaki back in spite of his obvious surprise, leaning up on the balls of his feet to press closer. 

Takaki pulled back, much too aware of the rest of the group doubtlessly watching them, his eyes opening. Inoo’s eyes were still closed, opening slowly to meet Takaki’s own. Takaki could feel the group staring at them, but his gaze didn’t leave Inoo’s face. Inoo was looking up at him, his eyebrows tilting in question. Takaki nodded. 

“What--?!” Yuto started, but Inoo didn’t give him the time to finish, grabbing tight to Takaki’s arm and pulling him from the room. They only made it as far as the hallway, Inoo stopping in front of the far wall and turning to face him. 

“Was that--are you--do you mean--?” Inoo was stumbling over himself, Takaki unable not to smile. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” He answered with a nod. “Yeah, seriously.” 

He was about to elaborate but didn’t seem to need to; Inoo was on him then, his arms around Takaki’s neck, kissing the breath out of him. Takaki was able to kiss back for a couple of moments before he began to laugh, not from amusement but just happiness instead, his head tilted down to Inoo’s own, Inoo pressing his forehead to Takaki’s as he laughed back. 

“You’re serious?” Inoo asked again, straightening up. “You want… To date me?” 

“Well, it’s that thing you said, being unable not to act like you like me when the others are around. I’ve been feeling that too. Like… So much.”

“And… You couldn’t just tell me?” Inoo asked. Takaki just grinned and shrugged back, Inoo hanging his weight on the arms he had around Takaki’s neck and shaking his head. “You romantic, dramatic idiot.” 

That had Takaki laughing, Inoo leaning in to kiss him again. 

“Shouldn’t we…” Takaki jerked his head towards the practice room. “I don’t know, go in and talk to them?” 

“Keito knows.” Inoo said dismissively. “He can tell them. Come here; I’ve missed kissing you.” 

Takaki was more than happy to oblige, leaning Inoo back into the wall behind him and kissing him. It never got too risque--they  _ were _ still at work--but Takaki kissed him fully, passionately, reveling in the affection of Inoo’s lips on his, the taste of him, the feel of Inoo’s body under his fingers. The kisses slowed, Inoo pulling Takaki in for a long hug instead, letting out a breath as he tucked his head into Takaki’s neck. 

“Boyfriend.” He said, the word almost pouty, the tone almost selfish, possessive, and Takaki had to laugh.

“Yeah?” He asked, responding to the word like a nickname, and Inoo looked up at him, a smile splitting his face. 

“Let’s go in and talk to them, I guess.” 

Despite it being almost fifteen minutes later, they found the group in about the same state they’d left them in, bewilderment on all of their faces, standing around. Some of them were pointing at each other and talking, but when they walked in, it all stopped. 

“...what?” Takaki asked. Inoo leaned close to his ear. 

“I don’t think Keito told them.” He said, turning to Keito. “Did you not tell everyone?” 

Keito looked flustered. “I promised I wouldn’t say anything!” 

“That promise is kind of pointless now though, isn’t it?” Takaki asked, amused by the way the entire group rounded on Keito. 

“You  _ knew?”  _ Yamada asked. “About…” He gestured vaguely behind him, in probably what he assumed was Takaki and Inoo’s direction. “...whatever this is?” 

“We’re dating.” Takaki supplied, looking to Inoo with his eyebrows raised. “I mean, right?” 

Inoo didn’t answer, but he was now wearing one of the widest smiles Takaki had ever seen on him, curling himself to Takaki’s side, so Takaki had to assume he’d said the right thing. 

“Since when?” Yabu asked. 

“Since now.” 

“Like…” Daiki’s eyes went wide, and he pointed to the floor of the practice room. “Like  _ now _ now?” 

“Yeah.” Takaki said with a shrug. 

“But we liked each other for a while.” Inoo said helpfully. “And we knew we liked each other. So the kiss wasn’t as out of nowhere as it seems, I guess is what I mean.” 

“Not out of nowhere.” Chinen deadpanned. “Yeah. Right.” 

“How long?” Yuto wanted to know. 

“Long enough for being stuck in a closet with someone you like to feel awkward.” Takaki told him. It hadn’t actually been awkward, but Takaki couldn’t help himself. Yuto drew his chin back, pouting a bit. 

“Yeah, well, you’re together now or whatever, so I bet it still helped.” He said petulantly. Inoo turned to Takaki, though he spoke loud enough for the whole room to hear. 

“It kind of did help.” He admitted. And yeah, it had--if Takaki had to call getting hard at least three times a week during work helping--but he wasn’t about to admit that to Yuto. 

“So, Takaki, you’re…?” Hikaru trailed off, meeting Takaki’s eyes, but Takaki knew he was asking about his sexuality. Takaki had been expecting this question, but it still sent a zip of fear up his chest. The feeling, thankfully, was small enough to swallow down, and he was able to answer honestly. 

“I like guys too. A lot, apparently, if they’re the right one.” He resisted the urge to shrug. “It’s all kind of new to me, honestly, but…” Inoo, who was already pressed up to his side, reached his arm out to wrap it around Takaki from behind, giving him a squeeze, Takaki able to finish with a smile on his face. “But I’m happy.” 

The entire group was looking at him, and some of them were even looking a little bit sappy, and it was all kind of embarrassing. He saw Inoo move towards him out of the corner of his eye, but wasn’t fast enough to get out of the way; Inoo planted a big wet kiss on his cheek, his lips taking up nearly his entire cheek with the way they were puckered up and unceremoniously squished against his face. Takaki was unable to help the laugh that leapt from his chest, half startled and half amused, jumping away from his--boyfriend, Inoo was his  _ boyfriend _ \--as the entire group laughed. 

Inoo was laughing too, his face completely relaxed, open and happy as he met Takaki’s eyes. The expression was perfect, a rush of affection going through Takaki’s entire body. He reached towards Inoo to take his hand, and Inoo, still laughing, let himself be tugged forward. Takaki wanted nothing more than to kiss him. And now, he was able to. So he did. 

  
  


Almost a year later found Takaki in a hotel room in Aichi. It was the night before their last date of the entire  _ DEAR _ tour, and Takaki knew he should be asleep, but he also knew sleep would be impossible. He was sharing a room with Yabu, his friend sitting at the edge of his bed, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a tank top and and frowning down at his phone. At least he’d stopped pacing. 

“Okay.” Yabu said, completely unprompted, getting to his feet. “Hikaru said he would come.”

That was Takaki’s cue go to, in all honesty. Hikaru, over the past year, had become close friends with a Harajuku model. Within a month of the two becoming close, Hikaru had come out to the group with the term “queer”, and while Takaki wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, he was glad for Hikaru; Hikaru was happier now than Takaki had seen him in a while, more goofy and lighthearted, experimenting with occasional makeup looks and colorful hairstyles, talking about maybe getting his ears pierced. 

For some reason, this had sent Yabu into a sort of sexuality-questioning spiral. It came and went, and Yabu always called Hikaru for help. This was Yabu’s fifth gay crisis while they’d been on this tour, and Takaki was unable to see where Hikaru was finding the patience to continue to deal with it. 

“You don’t have to leave.” Yabu told him, but Takaki just shook his head. 

“Nah, it’s alright. I want to say goodnight to Kei. Don’t wait up for me.” 

After grabbing a pair of clothes to change into in the morning, Takaki was out the door. He passed Hikaru in the hallway, Hikaru returning the grim smile Takaki offered him, then he knocked on Inoo’s door.

It was Wednesday night. Inoo was now a host on Mezamashi TV, and had been since April, his segment requiring him to be on live television at five in the morning every Thursday. For Inoo’s health, part of Takaki hoped that Inoo was already asleep. 

He wasn’t though, and Takaki was happy for that too, Inoo opening the door for him and gesturing him inside. Due to him leaving to be flown to the studio at ungodly hours in the morning, Inoo had a hotel room all to himself. Takaki swept Inoo up into his arms as soon as the door was closed, kissing him in greeting, Inoo making a small, happy sound in the back of his throat as he kissed back. 

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” Inoo asked, beaming. He was leaned almost completely against Takaki, his arms around Takaki’s neck, and Takaki found himself very pleased with his complete armful of happy boyfriend. 

“Yabu again.” Takaki explained, Inoo letting out a sigh. 

“Can’t Hikaru just tell him to watch some porn and get over himself?” 

That had Takaki choking with laughter, Inoo laughing back before tightening his grip around Takaki’s neck and jumping, wrapping his legs around Takaki’s waist. Takaki made a noise of surprise, the sudden shift in weight unexpected, stumbling. He nearly fell, but the hotel bed was close enough, landing sideways on it. Inoo was laughing at him, Takaki letting out a breath when they safely hit the mattress. 

“That was very dangerous.” Takaki told him, but Inoo just laughed some more, taking advantage of their position on the bed to snuggle his body into Takaki’s. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

“I know.” Inoo said with a hum. They got comfortable, Inoo pressing a kiss to Takaki’s neck, the warm soft spot right under his jaw, Takaki sliding a hand under Inoo’s shirt to rest on the soft skin of his stomach. 

“You’re sexy.” He said, Inoo shaking his head a bit before kissing Takaki’s neck again. 

“No, you’re sexy.” 

“Kei, you’re really sexy.” Takaki insisted, Inoo laughing a little. 

“Fine! I’m sexy. But you’re sexy. You’re the sexy one, and I’m the pretty one. Remember?” 

Takaki made a small noise in agreement, starting to feel sleepy. It had been a long day, and now he was very comfortable, lying down and wrapped up with Inoo. Inoo seemed to misunderstand the sound, putting a hand on Takaki’s cheek and meeting his eyes. 

“You’re pretty too.” He said, and Takaki wasn’t sure what it was, but something about the words--the sincerity, maybe?--had a blush rising on his face. Feeling embarrassed and overwhelmingly happy, he pushed his face into Inoo’s neck. 

“What?” Inoo asked in laughter, trying to get a look at him. “What?” 

“Shut up.” Takaki mumbled. 

“Do you like it? When I tell you you’re pretty?” Inoo was teasing him now, Takaki moving to kiss Inoo instead. Inoo was laughing though, at the blush on his face, giggling into the kiss pressed against his mouth. 

“You’re awful.” Takaki told him, but he was smiling too, Inoo kissing him properly this time. 

“Well, I guess I’m calling you ‘pretty’ more often, Yuya.” He said, and Takaki rolled his eyes. 

“Awful.” Takaki said again, Inoo resting his head against Takaki’s chest.

“Yeah, but you love me.” 

The phrase was said jokingly, but as soon as it was out of Inoo’s mouth Takaki felt his boyfriend freeze. Though it was something Takaki had been feeling for a while, no declarations of love had been made yet, from either of them. Takaki ran his fingers through Inoo’s soft hair, wanting to kiss him again, wanting to set him at ease.

“I do.” He said, and at that Inoo looked up at him. “I love you.” 

Inoo kissed him then, pushing himself up completely to hover over Takaki, murmuring against his lips. 

“I love you too.” He said. “So much.” 

Then Takaki pulled him down, reveling in the body in his arms, at the disbelief that he had  _ this; _ that this was his life. That he was in love. He was loved in return. He’d never been more comfortable, more settled in himself, and he’d never been more happy. 


End file.
